Hilarious Outtakes
by B. Brandon Barker
“A Beautiful Mind”
[Russell Crowe sits at his desk reading the newspaper. Jennifer Connelly brings him a glass of water. She drops two pink pills on the newspaper.]
Jennifer Connelly: I’m going to bed.
Russell Crowe: Goodnight. [Unable to keep a straight face, he snorts loudly.]
Jennifer Connelly: [Starts laughing uncontrollably]
*
“Walk the Line”
[Joaquin Phoenix, disheveled, stumbles to the telephone. Shooter Jennings sits by the window, strumming a guitar.]
Joaquin Phoenix: Hey, did June call? Waylon! Did June Call? Woman won’t return my damn calls.
Shooter Jennings: They disconnected it yesterday.
Joaquin Phoenix: [After a pause, he breaks into uncontrollable laughter.]
Shooter Jennings: [Looking around] What did I say?
[The entire set howls with laughter.]
*
“Last of the Mohicans”
[Daniel Day-Lewis pleads with Chief Sachem of the Huron Nation to spare the lives of Madeleine Stowe and Jodhi May, both in the capture of Wes Studi.]
Daniel Day-Lewis: Wise one, the French fathers made peace and swore to their honor not to break the friendship. Magua broke it. It is false that the French would not be friends, still, to the Huron.
Wes Studi: Ha! It made our French father happy to never have to fight the same Yengeese again. He told me this without telling me this.
Daniel Day-Lewis: So the Huron are the servants of the French? To do what the French are shamed to do?
Wes Studi: No. Huron serve no one. The French father believes he fooled Magua bec-because, blah. Whoops! [He succumbs to a spastic fit of laughter.]
Daniel Day-Lewis: [Walks out of the frame, laughing like a maniac]
- B. Brandon Barker 2010
Post a Comment